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Expand Your Comfort Zone – What's the Worst That Can Happen?

Posted by: Joan Burge on 4/21/2009

GUEST BLOG ENTRY BY KATHY TOSOIAN.

So many of us live in fear. We let fear control our lives and dictate what we say or do. We choose to stay in our little comfort zone because we feel safe and comfortable there. The truth is, opportunities in life lie outside of our comfort zone. We can’t grow and discover new possibilities if we aren’t willing to take risks. We fear failure, disappointment, disapproval, humiliation, and more. So we remain stagnant in our careers, our relationships, and life, in general. Imagine how much more you could experience if you were willing to take a risk?

I used to be scared to death to fly in an airplane. It paralyzed my career and kept me from enjoying vacations with my family. Finally, I realized that if I didn’t overcome this fear, I would be missing out on so much in life! How did I overcome this? I considered the law of averages (driving a car was much more dangerous). I forced myself to take periodic flights by myself. I visited family and friends in other states. I accepted out-of-town speaking engagements instead of coming up with excuses as to why I couldn’t go. I “felt the fear, and did it anyway.” Now, I love to travel by plane and have experienced some wonderful career opportunities because I no longer live in fear of flying.

What are you afraid of? What’s holding you back from experiencing a better life? What fear keeps you “stuck” in your job? Do whatever it takes to gather up some courage and move through your fear…because LIFE is waiting for you on the other side!

Kathy Tosoian

Office Dynamics Certified Trainer/Speaker

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20 Comments

    • Apr 21 2009, 3:43 PM Patti Speer
    • Ahhhh the "comfort zone." I remember pre-IAAP when I would NEVER have dreamed of speaking in front of people, much less giving a presentation. I do have to give credit to my association with IAAP and all its wonderful members for encouraging me to overcome this knee-knocking, heart pounding, white knuckle (from tightly grabbing the podium) fear!

    • Apr 21 2009, 4:16 PM Olivia
    • This blog is really a good one. Fear can really keep you from life's treasures. Very well said...thank you.

    • Apr 21 2009, 6:13 PM Crystal
    • Great advice--as usual! Thanks!

    • Apr 21 2009, 6:47 PM Tammy Davis
    • I am soo in the comfort zone. I've got a mentor now to assist me in the how do I deal with the dears... Look out world here I come!

    • Apr 21 2009, 7:47 PM Joan Van Cleave
    • Yes, I sometimes experience the fear of flying. I'm especially fearful of change during these trying economic times. I sometimes view staying the same as making my career more secure and therefore, not rocking-the-boat or being seen as an upstarter. Yet, we must realize change is good and more progressive than always staying the same or thinking the same way about things. We need to forge ahead and look at different perspectives and try new ideas or techniques in order to challenge our everyday lives.

    • Apr 21 2009, 8:00 PM Brenda L. Mason CPS/CAP, CWCA
    • I use to fear public speaking. The thought of getting up infront of people was my worst nightmare I overcame this by networking, becoming a committee chair and then an officer on a professional organization board. This experience did help me to win several awards at a Dale Carnegie course that I took. I won best speech my first night, leadership, visionary and human relations awards. I would have never dreamed that I had so much potential had it not been for me taking the first step to network and to become involved.<br><br>I encourage every admin, especially during this time, to network and get involved.

    • Apr 21 2009, 9:37 PM Jessica
    • I used to fear speaking up and asking for what I wanted. I've since learned that if I don't speak up and ask, I will never know if it could have been. It also helped that my Mom always used to tell me, "Go ahead and ask. The worst they can say is no." <br><br>For example, on April 1st, after learning of the Admin Briefing (held today and it was great!) I decided to ask if the company would support the program viewing. After 2 weeks of not receiving a response, I figured if it was really important to me I would find a way to make it happen. You can imagine my surprise when out of the blue my director told me that it had been approved by the company President and that he thought it was a great idea! I am so happy that I chose to speak up and ask for something that was important to me.<br><br>Thanks, Kathy, for reminding us to take a little risk every now and again.

    • Apr 21 2009, 11:07 PM NPB
    • This is great advice. Thank you.

    • Apr 22 2009, 2:10 AM Alice
    • I have many fears and you are so right these fears keep me from really enjoying life. I am trying to work through many of these fears. I once read that most of what you fear never happens so quit worrying is does nothing for you.

    • Apr 22 2009, 4:22 AM Trish Cooper
    • Speaking of "expanding your comfort zone," I just finished reading "Who Moved My Cheese"--GREAT READ!!! If you have not read it, I challenge you to do so. For those of you who have, I'm a Haw major with a Hem minor. I would love to be more like Sniff. What does all of this mean in a nutshell? I am not a big fan of change because of fear of the unknown; therefore, I am uneasy with expanding my comfort zone. I spend a lot of time analyzing and evaluating (coming up with plans for "what-if" scenarios--what's the worst that can happen?). Once I can see a clear path (a well thought-out plan), I can accept change without a lot of reservation. After reading the book, I'm working on "sniffing" out opportunities to gradually develop my professional as well as my personal growth and tools and techniques to become more efficient and productive. My favorite "handwritings on the wall" from the book are: Change Happens (they keep moving the cheese) and Anticipate Change (get ready for the cheese to move). Read the book!!! You'll be glad that you did.

    • Apr 22 2009, 11:26 AM Alice
    • Sounds like a book that I need to read, Trish. I'll pick that one up next time I'm out shopping.

    • Apr 22 2009, 12:03 PM Jodi
    • WOW!! You hit it right on the head!! I need to work on wanting change instead of being in fear of it!! THANKS!!

    • Apr 22 2009, 12:17 PM jessig
    • Thank you Kathy and to blogger Trish for the book idea. What a great blog. This is spot is now #1 in my Favorites for breaktime at work!

    • Apr 22 2009, 12:24 PM SonnyCrockett
    • I still like my comfort zone...but I see that it is OK to be to have that 'fear' just don't let it paralyze you (Donna) and I don't anymore. I sometimes hinder myself, "afraid of failure" on learing a new task...even though I know I did my best and tried. So what? Try again! I plan on giving a short memorial about a dear friend that passed. The memorial is upbeat, full of funny stories and I am sort of looking forward to it. But doing this will mean I have to get up in front of my church congregation. These folks are my friends...but it is still "an audience". I can do this.. especially after reading Joan's comments and each and every administrative assistants' comments, knowing I have your support - we are an army of admins and we can do this! :) Best Wishes from WV

    • Apr 22 2009, 12:30 PM Linda
    • Being a person who always tries to stretch my zone of influence, I am constantly on the lookout for new challenges--and my co-workers know this. I often have interesting projects to coordinate and report on and this keeps me fresh and engaged. I love this quote (don't know from who but I have it on my wall at work): "Engaged people want to tackle problems, processes and issues that can be improved upon for everyone's benefit. They address them professionally and objectively, like a person solving a puzzle -- not a bewildered soul lost in a maze! Instead, like Einstein or Edison, they have endless faith and a vision for wht can be." Thanks!

    • Apr 22 2009, 12:38 PM Lynn S. Frye
    • When I was a child taking piano lessons, the dreaded recital would roll around every year. I was terrified of making a mistake or forgetting my piece and everyone would laugh at me. Then my mother told me to just think of the people sitting in the audience as a patch of cabbage heads. When I thought of that, my fear went away. I still use the same thought when speaking in front of a group. They are people just as I am a person. The fear is gone. Stretch your limits and you will find that whatever frightens you is not so intimidating.

    • Apr 22 2009, 2:08 PM MLuddeni
    • I had the privilege of listening to Melba Duncan speak years ago at an AMA Administrative professionals conference and after I listened to her I realized that the best comfort zone I could create for myself was one that knew there would always be changes and challenges and embrace them. So I do and made that my new comfort zone. Now I look forward to any challenge and embrace any changes. It has actually been fun and exciting.

    • Apr 22 2009, 2:23 PM Pat
    • Thank You Kathy for your insight and your words of encouragement.

    • Apr 22 2009, 3:12 PM Sara Ranney
    • I agree with Patti, my local IAAP chapter is a wonderful learning zone with a tremendous amount of support and encouragement to overcome fear. Get involved with your local chapter, everyone benefits!

    • Apr 22 2009, 6:35 PM Padmasree
    • So very truly said -I have come to realise through experience that opportunities are immense when you come out of your comfort zone. In seeking our own convenience, we choose to ignore the opportunity that could actually allow us to grow. <br><br>As most other respondents, I have overcome the fear of public speaking when I took the step to be a contestant at the Secretary of the Year Contest organised by our local IASAP Chapter in India, and came out to be the First Runner Up. From that one small step, I have come to train other admins and children in various forums in my city today. I have immensely benefitted by being associated with other admins across various Chapters in AsiaPac and am excited to be part of this forum through this blog. Thank you, Joan, for creating such an opportunity for me.

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