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Can Lack of Assertiveness be Interpreted as Weakness?

Posted by: Joan Burge on 1/19/2009

Can lack of assertiveness be interpreted as weakness? I’m going to share with you points that have been discussed on this topic when I’m teaching administrative assistants and support staff personnel how to be assertive. The majority of attendees agree that, yes, it can be viewed as weakness. It could be saying to people:
• I don’t care.
• I like to be needed. So take advantage of me.
• I care more about what you think of me than what is right.
• I’m uncertain as to how to communicate my needs and expectations.
• I’m wishy-washy.
• I follow the crowd. I don’t have an opinion.

It’s ironic that I’m writing about this topic today because I just wrote an overview yesterday for a workshop on assertiveness that we are conducting for a major corporation soon.

There is a fine line between assertive and aggressive behavior; one will advance your career while the other will work against you. Assertiveness has to do with having an “attitude of confidence.” It is an attitude of self-respect; it is an attitude of respecting other people’s rights. It is an aura of confidence. When you are assertive, you not only ensure that your needs are met to get the job done, but you actually help others be more efficient and effective.

Here are some benefits to you. . .
• take immediate action in the future
• communicate your needs in a tactful way that results in action from others
• reduce anxiety
• increase your self-confidence
• build a reputation as a person who gets things done
• choose when to push a situation or walk away

How do you demonstrate assertiveness at work?
1. Be direct and specific with people.
2. Confront something instead of holding it in or stewing over it. Remember, do it with tact and professionalism.
3. Give constructive feedback to others when they don’t meet your expectations.
4. Act responsibly.
5. Establish deadlines with people. Don’t accept, “As soon as possible.”
6. Show others the relationship between their actions and results.
7. Do not accept inappropriate behavior.

Assertive communication is not just knowing what to say, but how to say it; it has to do with the words you use, the clarity of your thinking, and being able to express you thoughts to others.

What do you think?

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3 Comments

    • Jan 23 2009, 5:44 PM Christina D.
    • I'm in the process of getting this assertive thing down. I have many levels of management to communicate with, as well as clients of various socioeconomic backgrounds. So it seems that the level of assertiveness constantly needs changing. <br>I do know that a lack of assertiveness, eventually leads to resentment or rebellion towards those you are in contact with. Its best to be just straightforward yet humble.

    • Jan 23 2009, 5:44 PM Joan Burge
    • Hello Christina!<br><br>You made some very good points. You are correct in that there are levels of assertiveness, actually 3. You do want to think through the situation and especially the possible outcome if you use low-level, mid-level, or high-level assertiveness. Thank you for your input. Have a good weekend!<br>Joan Burge

    • Feb 02 2009, 3:43 PM Michelle
    • It's amazing how much I've learned over the years in my career! Initially I was timid and considered myself 'just' the admin person. I now know that it is my job to solve problems and insert myself into situations that require it. Anything that affects my boss or will require my participation is part of my domain. I get involved early - so that I can ask the questions they may not have considered.<br><br>It's funny you mention establishing deadlines. In addition to 'as soon as possible' I hear alot of 'no rush'. I never let someone hand something off to me without a brief discussion about their requirements and the deadline. <br><br>If someone says no rush I respond "no rush Tuesday or no rush Friday?". If they say Tuesday I follow with "Tuesday 9am or 5pm?". If it's required at 9am I now know it's something I need to add to my to-do list for today (Monday) so it's ready at 9am. <br><br>It's made me more a effective and efficient partner. <br>

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