Inspiring Excellence in
Administrative Professionals

Since 1990

800-STAR-139
(800-782-7139)

Select the search type
 
  • Site
  • Web
Search
Underneath It All by Joan Burge
10% of all
proceeds goes to
Pancreatic Cancer Research

 

Assistant Edge

Joan Burge's Administrative Blog

Ghost & Goblins

Posted by: Joan Burge on 9/30/2009

Even ghost and goblins come in various shapes, sizes and personalities. Not everyone you work with is Casper the Friendly Ghost.

In honor of Halloween and in preparing for my October 28 webinar on this subject, I am looking for your best practices in managing the ghost and goblins in the workplace. You can submit as many tips as you would like, either by providing several ideas in one Blog or submitting one tip several days during the month of October which would mean you have more chances to win our great prizes!

To start us off, I will tell you about a not-too-scary ghost who I worked with in my early 20s! Please keep in mind, you don't have to write an entire story (unless you want to); I just want to know how you handle these characters so we can share best practices with admins around the world!

Joan's Story:
I was working at a large corporation in Cleveland, OH for a Director of Finance. My executive reported to a VP therefore his Executive Assistant, Jeri, was a level above my position. For some reason Jeri had been talking behind my back. How did I know this? Because she was talking about me to someone who liked me and worked in my department. I finally decided to face Jeri head on. Here are steps to use with this type of scenario.

  1. Make sure you have all the facts about the situation. I had collected dates and comments as to what was said about me by Jeri.
  2. Have a plan before confronting this person. Decide when and where you will talk to them, how you will do this and what you will say. I decided to go up to her work area on another floor when her executive was out of town and asked her to step into his office as I needed to talk to her. I had already rehearsed the words I would use and knew I would sit across from her in a chair.
  3. Use non-threatening language. "Jeri, I've been made aware of......"
  4. Let this ghost or goblin know by your speech, body language and facial expression that you mean business. My body language and tone of voice was one of confidence.
  5. Make good eye contact.
  6. Let them know that their current behavior is unacceptable.
  7. State your expectations for future behavior. My language was probably something like, "Jeri, if you have a problem with me in the future or I have done something to upset you, I expect you to talk directly with me, not behind my back."
  8. If it happens again, confront the ghost again and reiterate what you said the first time. They may very well slide back into their old habits.

 

Prizes up for grabs this month:

Create a trackback from your own site.

59 Comments

    • Sep 29 2009, 1:28 PM Jasmine Freeman
    • Attention Blog Readers! This is where you add your entry for this months contest. Simply enter your name, email & your comment. Fill in the verification code and click the 'submit comment' button. Your comment will need to be approved by Office Dynamics staff before it appears. Once approved, your comments appear here. Thanks for your participation and best of luck to all of you!
    • Sep 30 2009, 7:50 AM SonnyCrockett
    • Honestly, I find confronting an individual extremely difficult for me. As a result, I would feel inadequate, but nonetheless, confrontation scares the life out of me.
    • Sep 30 2009, 8:12 AM Shannon Lashley
    • Working as the assistant to the executive director of my division, it amazes me the things that my "family" of co-workers will share with me that they wouldn't dare share with the big boss. I try to diffuse complaints with a positive twist by pointing out the good in situations and teaching my co-workers how to take control of a situation and make the best of it. This method helps to insulate my boss from the mundane issues that arise throughout the week and also empowers others to take care of themselves and find constructive ways to deal with annoyances. This approach and philosophy have made all the difference in making my day more manageable and bright and, in turn, letting my boss take care of the really important "rocks" that keep our division running smoothly. Cheers!
    • Sep 30 2009, 8:51 AM Julie Stresing
    • I had worked with someone who was very demanding of all my co-workers. Some co-workers did confront her. But that never seemed to work. Since it was a small business. Our next step was talking to the owner. Unfortunately the owner was blind to what was going on. Sometimes we thought this demanding person was our Secret Manager. Which created more stress, since the owner never expressed if she was our manager or not. Well people started quitting left and right. I ended up quitting as well because we never got the owners support. I felt like we had reached a dead end. Sometimes I think we should have went to the owner as a group versus individually. A year and a half after my departure the owner did let the demanding person go. The owner finally realized after most of her staff had quit! I guess the owner had to find out for herself what was going on. So sorry for a not so happy ending. But I guess it was, because it pushed me to make a career transition. Now and I am an Admin Assistant and I love my job!
    • Sep 30 2009, 8:52 AM Roxi Parks
    • I have always had an uneasy feeling when confronting people. I agree with Joan - you must have a plan. And, wait until you are calm. I have rushed ahead and that always makes the situation worse. If you don't stand your ground, the problem will not go away, and you will become very resentful toward the person.
    • Sep 30 2009, 10:00 AM Susan Williams
    • What a wonderful website. I enjoy reading the Monday Motivator each week as they so often contain practical and insightful observations and suggestions.
    • Sep 30 2009, 10:19 AM Virginia Hummell
    • Great tips. I'll remember that. I usually don't confront the person, but that seems like the best idea. As far as Monday Motivators goes, I love them. This week you have Too Close to the Ground. I printed it to present at our next AP Quarterly Brainstorming meeting. I also sent them the information where they can get Monday Motivators. Thanks again for all you wonderful insight. Ginny
    • Sep 30 2009, 10:21 AM Rhonda Hooks
    • I worked at the Federal Reserve Bank in Dallas, Texas for 7.5 years. Because we worked with millions of dollars a day, we were assigned to 3 person teams, with one person rotated out every month. One particular young woman, who was very likable and personable, had a very bad habit of talking badly about whomever was rotated out every month. As long as you worked with her, she was your best friend. As soon as someone new rotated in, she had nothing good to say about you! After putting up with it for several years, she made an unfortunate comment about a friend of mine, in the locker room after shift. It was the perfect moment to confront her, as we started out alone. I told her I didn't appreciate her trashing our fellow workers or me, and that she needed to find another way to make herself feel better. She got very loud and attracted our supervisor and other workers, and really made a fool of herself. I kept my cool, kept my voice down, and didn't rise to her insults and arguments. She finally stomped out, spewing obsecenities, and no one said a word, including the supervisor. He just smiled at me and said "Have a great evening!" Once she knew that everyone was tired of her gossiping and attitude, she got better, at least while I was still working there. After I was injured on the job, and was no longer a constant reminder, she made me the permanent target, because I wasn't there to defend myself. They say you don't have to like who you work with, but it sure does help!
    • Sep 30 2009, 10:23 AM Sandy
    • I have had to deal with my share of ghosts and goblins also. What I have done is to try not to take the actions of the ghost or goblin personally. We never know what someone else is going through so it's best not to jump to action or judgement. I also feel that when ghosts or goblins are micromanaging or stressed, it's my duty to act in just the opposite manner: kind, agreeable, calm and with a can-do, positive attitude. By acting this way, I feel I'm helping that other person calm down a bit and appreciate me a bit more.
    • Sep 30 2009, 10:35 AM Mary Anne
    • Luke Chapter 6 tells us Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. Do to others as you would have them do to you. I had a two year battle with a co-worker several years ago. I finally decided to take a pay cut and move on. It was the best decision I ever made!
    • Sep 30 2009, 11:07 AM Corleen
    • This is a wonderful piece. Working for the Chief Executive in our office, I've had difficulty with the Administrative Assistant to the Assistant Director. After four years I finally had a "sit down" with her and outlined the substantiated issues and my expectations in a clear and direct manner. Being assertive is very difficult for me, but I rehearsed my comments at home before I met with her. Much to my surprise it went very well, and has been much improved since that time. I apparently needed to establish some boundaries and, for some reason, this individual needed to know that I wouldn't continue to accept the treatment and behavior that she'd been directing at me. My supervisor does not want to hear about interpersonal issues in the workplace, so I had to deal with it on my own. I think, by having done so myself, I've garnered more respect in this instance than if someone else had intervened on my behalf. Thank you for these useful and supportive pieces. Keep 'em coming!
    • Sep 30 2009, 11:59 AM Kathy Sieckman
    • My goblin was a co-worker who was a real "negative nelly." Once I discovered that his attitude was really bringing MY attitude down, I had to make the decision to (a) change the subject whenever things started getting negative; and (b) curtail the amount of time I spent with him as much as possible. He eventually left the company, but I had to make the realization that his attitude (and actually everyone's attitudes) affects mine and to be very careful whom I associate with. On the other hand, it also made me realize that MY attitude may well affect others, so I try to always keep things positive.
    • Sep 30 2009, 12:37 PM Joan Burge
    • Hello Everyone! We are off to a great start. I've read everyone's contributions and already can see it will be tough choosing this week's winner. Remember, to be entered in the contest, your comment must pertain to managing ghost and goblins. And you can send more than one idea. Thank you for the terrific advice!
    • Sep 30 2009, 12:54 PM Lisa Wight
    • I worked for a group of four psychologists. One doctor ran the business-side of the practice. He was great to work with. But one of the doctors was a definite goblin. On the days he would work in the office I would greet him politely "Good Morning Dr." He would never acknowledge that I had spoken to him. After a few years of this changes in the office necessitated this doctor taking on a managerial role. He asked to meet with me to see if I had any questions on work styles, etc. I told him that I was very worried about working with him given that he appeared to think I was not worth noticing. I provided him with examples. He was very nice throughout the conversation and promised to change his ways. And he did. When he walked in the office he would walk past the receptionist and the scheduler and into my office where he would very nicely offer a greeting. Of course he ignored the receptionist and the scheduler but I felt we had made some progress.
    • Sep 30 2009, 12:57 PM Jessica C
    • I have become much more confident with regard to confronting work place situations. I have found that it removes a huge amount of weight off of my shoulders by addressing the situation rather than to hold it inside and stew about it. The technique that I frequently use is to identify the actual problem (or situation that has bothered me) and write it down. Then, I make my list of points that I wish to discuss and practice exactly how to communicate these points. It can be helpful to also identify the desired result(s) of the upcoming conversation. It is very important to stay on topic and not let yourself stray during the conversation. Anticipating the receiver's response to the message being sent and planning accordingly can help to stay on track.
    • Sep 30 2009, 2:28 PM Judy Zimmerman
    • I, too, am not comfortable with confrontation,but have had to step up to the plate on numerous occasions. It is certainly a growing experience.
    • Sep 30 2009, 2:54 PM Liz Chandler
    • I have found that studying personality types has made it easier for me to deal with people. I have recently read "Get Motivated" by Tamara Lowe and she does a great job of outlining personalities and how to motivate them to help you and also to understand why they act they way they do. Check it out!
    • Sep 30 2009, 3:08 PM Gail Hamel
    • I enjoy the tips that Joan provides for us admins. We have all had our share of ghosts and gobblins; learning how to deal with them is the real key. I wish Joan would come and visit the East Coast on one of her journeys. Maybe next Summer or Fall--wonderful weather in New England. Thanks Joan!
    • Oct 01 2009, 9:42 AM Pam L.
    • Oh, the number of gosts and goblins I have come across in my many admin years. What I have learned, as importantly as confronting MY ghosts is that it is also important for me NOT to be one of MY coworkers ghost or goblins.
    • Oct 01 2009, 11:29 AM Pat
    • I once worked with someone whose basic business flaw was that she did not understand the concept of "team". Honest, she just didn't get it! She was very much an "I" person, very much a "my way or the highway" kind of gal, and very much an "inner circle" gal: if you weren't in her circle then you were clearly her target! And she was rather aggressive about it all! I really struggled, for a very long time, with how to work day-to-day with this person. Clearly, I was not and never would be part of her inner circle! I'm rather good at ignoring those I can't get along with, but what really irked me is how she intimidated into silence and submission others who had so much to offer. Many of us have heard of "Influence Without Authority", but I'm telling you, she was a Master of "Intimidation Without Authority"! People simply refused to shine because to do so meant having to endure her public (as well as private) wrath. She clearly was not approachable, nor was it possible to teach her the concept of "team". Ultimately I just took it upon myself to quietly lead a charge, leaving it to others to follow if they chose. I simply always (emphasis on always) cheerfully invited her to join along, but at the same time made it crystal clear that I would simply go around her, under her, over her or through her should she choose not to join in. By words and actions my message to her was always, "Come on, join me! Would really like to, prefer to, have you along ... but know that if you decline, you will not stop me!". No, it didn't suddenly make her a team champion, and it didn't stop her attempts at intimidating others. In fact, it somewhat shifted her focus from them, to me, and to trying to sabotage any concept of "team" I was trying to initiate! But ultimately, it worked in my favor! Quite to my surprise a number of others previously intimidated by her joined along and togehter we were no longer "under her influence". Maybe not the best resolution, nor one that works with every "intimidator", but I'm happy to say it did work for me and others at that job.
    • Oct 01 2009, 12:25 PM Tracy
    • Working in an office with ghosts and goblins is never fun and especially hard to deal with; however, I have learned to look at the person differently before reacting. I work for the VP of a hospital and have several colleagues who tell me much more than I would like to know, but I use it to my full advantage by learning about them. I have been reading a lot about diversity, which I originally thought had to do with a person’s race and gender, but I have learned it is much bigger. Diversity is the distinct and appreciable differences among individuals and includes life experiences, age, nation of origin, level of education, organizational role and other aspects of our identity. Diversity is relational and exists to some degree in every relationship and interaction that we have regardless of who we are interacting with - there is always some amount of differences present. By being aware of that and understanding the value of that difference, we can not only explore it and learn from it, but we can help make the ghosts and goblins in the office disappear. It also allows a working environment in which opportunities, interaction, communication, decision-making participation and input from all perspectives, with different behaviors and attitudes to work together to enable effective work in cross-cultural situations. A diverse workforce is crucial in recruiting, retaining and developing a diverse workforce and building a world-class organization. Therefore, when I am dealing with an office ghost or goblin, I ask myself, “is it the person I am having difficulty or is there some diversity between the person and myself that I am having troubles dealing with.” Answering this question and visiting with ghost immediately instead of letting issues “stew” is much easier and all in the workplace is happier. After all, we have to work these people all day every day and nobody likes to work in an environment where adults cannot get along.
    • Oct 01 2009, 3:28 PM Lisa
    • Along with many others, I enjoy the tips that Joan provides for all Administrative Assistants. I would like to note, that in my opinion, confronting the ghost and goblins usually works best for most and whether it is uncomfortable or not, it is still the best attempt at a resolution to make a better work environmnet for everyone.
    • Oct 02 2009, 12:36 PM Claire
    • My ghost was the person who shared the office with me. What I didn't know was that everything I said and everything I did was directly reported to the Director, and my performance review was based on what she told him.
    • Oct 02 2009, 3:23 PM debbie gross
    • I have found that getting a better understanding of the individual helps me determine the best approach. One technique I have used is to check out the dragon's lair......I will walk by someone's desk and see if I can determine what their likes and dislikes are, favorite photos tell a lot about a person. I will strive to utilize that to open conversation and build on the communication with them .....I used this technique a few years ago with a co-worker who was very unresponsive to me. I noticed that she had children's drawings on her bulletin board and when I inquired... she shared with me that as a family they had a "art & dinner" night every Wed. evening. I started coming by to see her on Thursdays to see the latest creations and she immediately began to open up and even started returning my calls!
    • Oct 05 2009, 1:08 PM Admins Rock
    • I have a goblin in my office who I just can't seem to connect with for a few reasons. I have tried to confront my goblin but the negative vibe is evident. So much that my goblin refuses to even make eye contact with me. This goblin feels that because they have seniority, they are entitled to things I am not. Also, my goblin works for a higher level exec and thinks putting in 35 hours is enough to do the job. I used to dwell on these things but I am clearly noticed by executives in the company - even the one she works for. I always get asked to work on high profile projects and realize my goblin will always be a goblin - unhappy. I just need to do my job well and accept this person and their style for what they are ...
    • Oct 05 2009, 1:09 PM Melissa
    • OK I hate to say it. I truly do not have a problem confronting people. I am a firm believer the longer it something goes on in the dark the worse it can get. So I prefer to deal with it right away and stop it. This way all parties are done with it and positive productivity can continue. I was just part of one that I did not resolve when I should have it lasted many months. Another person came into the picture and got a little information (incorrect at that). This person decided to stir the pot and in the process made it much more ghoulish than it ever was. Now we have multiple people involved that should never have been and individuals that will not speak to each other unless absolutely necessary. Sometimes it is like a ghost town here even though there are many of us. Next time I stay true to myself open my mouth and deal with it at that moment. It hurts for a minute but it is much better than having daggers thrown at you later.
    • Oct 05 2009, 4:33 PM Sara Lewis
    • A great peice of advice for those difficult conversations. One of the best tools I've come across for dealing with these conversations is the book Power Phrases. It provides you some scripts for conversations like this. This is so helpful when you can't think of the right "nuetral" phrases to say.
    • Oct 05 2009, 9:04 PM Joan Burge
    • Great comments coming in.I am pleased to read so many words of wisdom and tips that I will even use. We will have our first winner this Friday. Good luck to everyone. Thanks, again.
    • Oct 07 2009, 7:59 AM Stacey Walker
    • There are a few "negaholics" where I work who don't have anything good to say about anyone. I don't let them bring me down and I refuse to agree with what they are saying about others. I've suggested things like, "Why don't you go and talk to so and so about this issue?" The negative employee soon stops airing their gripes to me.
    • Oct 07 2009, 8:45 AM Carmen Nieves
    • I do not like confrontations, however, I have had to do it in the past. Before I confront the person in question, I make sure I have all the details to back up my case. I talk to my executive and tell him or her what is going on and what my plans are. I dress in a power suit which makes me feel very confident in myself. I make an appointment with the individual in question. We talk in a private room. I start the conversation on a friendly manner....ie how are you, your family, etc. Then I tell them why I have called this meeting. I make direct eye contact and my body language is very confident and in control. I state all of my points and give them a chance to explain themselves. At the end, I reiterate the importance of communicating with me directly. We are a team. I am available to help. If it happens again, I will have no alternative but to bring our respective managers or HR into the conversation. I end it on a friendly Have a Great Day and I am always here to talk.
    • Oct 07 2009, 9:07 AM Moira
    • I work in a large hospital in a small department with 4 other women, we get along great. Our department has a lot of exposure in the hospital and I have no problens with any of the other assistants or managers I have to work with. My ghost or goblin is not a person, it's my monthly minutes that haunt me. I am not a clinical person and a lot of the discussion in the meeting is clinical so I don't know what is important to include in my minutes. What I do is tape them along with taking notes, include what I think is important and thank goodness, my director is very helpful in giving direction as to what needs to be included and how it should be worded. I know they should be getting easier but every month there is something new. When they are completed and distributed it feels like a weight has been lifted. I am just now able to catch up on the 26 week audio conferences (my speakers weren't working) and find them very informative. Thank you Joan and Jasmine
    • Oct 07 2009, 9:36 AM Ilja Kraag
    • I love to find solutions for problems and help people to get along and move forward. I see gremlins and goblins as people with a behavioral problem and like to help them find a different way of interacting with others. And sometimes the solution for the gremlin/goblin is to find a more solitary position as they just don't have it to work with others without creating problems. It is just as frustrating and painful for a gremlin or goblin to work with others who don't understand them. If you change your attitude towards a gremlin or goblin, and try to help them, you may be surprised of the outcome. Give it a try.
    • Oct 07 2009, 9:49 AM Duchess
    • My goblin was actually a former boss. When she was my boss, she took every opportunity to belittle and berate me and my work - with no cause other than her own insecurities (I had been in the job for years and had many friends, her tactics didn't work in any way except against herself and her own reputation.) so it wasn't fun. Her abuse continued even after she "moved up" and also added another level since my new boss reported to her and wouldn't go against her. One day the former boss, who had been quiet for quite a while, was in my office and started up again - I finally decided I had reached my limit. I looked at and asked her for the proof of what she was accusing me of. It stopped her in her tracks. I then told her that I did not want to suffer through anymore of her tirads unless and until she had actually proof of my wrongdoings and she was willing to produce that proof in front of others since I would no longer allow myself to be alone with her. She walked out of my office and it never happened again.
    • Oct 07 2009, 10:11 AM Iris Shull
    • My "ghost" seemed to play me against her boss. I was admin to the department head and "ghost" was secy to other managers under the head. She could type but had no previous secretarial experience, so she would come to ask me how to do certain tasks. Once she had my advice, she would let me know that her boss wanted the project done another way. I consistently assured "ghost" that she should do the project the way her boss told her. My conclusion was that she may be trying to pit us against each other, and I chose not to play along. It has helped me to learn how to deal with confrontations. I still don't like them, but I'll do what I have to do. I pulled back on the friendship level and kept my relationship with "Ghost" on a working level only. I also worked hard at being polite,yet businesslike whenever working with her.
    • Oct 07 2009, 3:11 PM Linda Kimball
    • Some of Stephen Covey's advice is Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. Although I agree with Joan's approach to dealing with a goblin, sometimes we can diffuse the situation with a simple process. We need to explain the situation and how it makes us feel. Ask them if they feel the way we think they do and why. Then listen. When we genuinely listen we can often diffuse a situation and walk away with a new friend. At the least, we will have a new understanding of what makes then tick and it will be easier to work with them.
    • Oct 09 2009, 11:27 AM Annette
    • My gobblin is a coworker that I currently work with now  …so I tread in the shallow end in the subject. My weakness is confrontation, however, my beliefs over power my weakness. I believe in keeping a positive attitude through and through by taking the high road of “kindness kills.” It was funny but I could relate with our preacher, he talked about losing their cat. They walked door to door in their neighborhood searching for their cat…empty handed was the result of their search. One day to their surprise, they saw a cat that looked like their cat and carefully confronted the neighbor! The neighbor denied. Seeking confirmation, the preacher bent down to check the vet tag hung around the cats neck and urgently walked back home to call the vet. The vet confirmed, ”Yes, we remember that cat, we vaccinated it a couple of days ago.” The preachers wife was furious! To make a long story short, the preacher calmed his wife by reminding her of scripture and prompted her “to keep a kind heart and pray for the enemy.” There is not a day that goes by the preachers wife sees the neighbor that stole her cat at the grocery store, they chit chat about kind things but the preachers wife closes the conversation by asking, “So how is your cat?” Today, this neighbor avoids the preachers wife…..HA!HA!HA! Bottom line “kindness kills”
    • Oct 09 2009, 1:02 PM Carolyn Clouser
    • In response to Moira's post re: minute taking in a clinical setting. I, too, work in a hospital and can relate to this "goblin". Something I find helpful is to review the meeting agenda with my manager in advance of the meeting and to spend a few minutes discussing the clinical issues. This way, I can learn more about the operations of the department and it helps me understand the lingo and conversation in the meeting. It doesn't take any more of the manager's time, since he/she is already assisting with the minutes after the fact, and it shows initiative rather just relying on the manager to help after the meeting.
    • Oct 09 2009, 1:58 PM Peggy Vasquez
    • One of the best tools I learned to deal with ghost and goblins is a confrontation tool. Its called SBI for Situation, Behavior, Impact. Its key to follow up quickly after a conflict. Describe the situation and stay focused on the situation instead of the person. Then describe their behavior. Then share how this situation and behavior impacted you, the team, the company. Then ask for behavior modification. I've used this tool many times and had successful outcomes. Correct body language and tone of voice are also essential. By using this tool you'll have less and less scary people in your life!
    • Oct 12 2009, 8:06 AM Alison
    • I work in a huge department with several secretaries. I personally feel that most of the individuals I work with are NOT professional. Some of the managers and secretaries are clicks (if you can imagine that). There are a few secretaries here who are trouble makers and talk about other secretaries constantly. The managers will not do anything about it because they really don't care. I choose to ignore them and their silly, immature actions. They do a very good job of being the silly goblins.
    • Oct 12 2009, 8:13 AM Allison
    • Based on my experience, I've concluded that no matter how nice you are to Goblins and try to see things from a Goblin point of view; it sometimes will still fail. The reason for this is because Goblins have low self-esteem. And until they can find value in themselves, it doesn't really matter how you try to dance around them in an attempt to understand them.
    • Oct 12 2009, 8:28 AM Ellen
    • I find that whenever I am face to face with a negative person (you know the kind -- aren't happy unless they're complaining about something) that humor can do wonders. For example, the other day "Bob" came up to complain once again about the load that the boss was giving him, and I say "I know what you mean, man-- the day he shoves bamboo shoots under my nails, I'm outta here!" He hasn't complained to me since!!
    • Oct 12 2009, 9:10 AM Stacey Walker
    • I have worked in a computer department for over 11 years, and the terminology is very technical. (It seems like they keep making up new terms just to frustrate me!) When I first joined the department, I spelled a word: gooey. My boss corrected me and said it's "GUI, for Graphic User Interface." One of the many meetings I take minutes for includes our group managers. I'm fortunate because they send in reports ahead of time, which I print out and upload to our SharePoint site. I use these as aids for when I'm typing the minutes. Then I send the appropriate section of the minutes to each group manager to proof. That seems to tame the goblin some. I also started an online "glossary of I/S terms" with over 1,000 entries - for other secretaries/admins.
    • Oct 12 2009, 10:18 AM Mary Anne
    • Matthew 5 tells us, 'But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!' If anything it may not change the situation, but it will change your perspective on it. Given a fresh perspective from the other's point of view is sometimes just what we need in a ghostly situation.
    • Oct 12 2009, 2:35 PM Luanne
    • I was a line lead before I became an administrative assistant and I had a run in with a male manager. He was blaming me for people not getting their work done and he was yelling at me in front of my fellow co-workers. He wouldn’t give me a chance to explain that we had machining problems so I started walking away from him. He proceeded to follow me still screaming at the top of his lungs so I went into the women's bathroom. I needed to cool down and I didn’t want to stoop to his level and start yelling back at him in front of everyone. After I cooled off I went back to his desk and told him we needed to talk somewhere where no one could interrupt or hear us. I told him I didn’t appreciate the way he started yelling at me in front of everyone and if he had a problem he could come to me directly and we could talk without an audience. He apologized and we never had a problem after that.
    • Oct 12 2009, 4:28 PM Jen
    • He was a wizard – a genius, seeing visions in the cauldron of ideas. The devil is in the details we would remind him. We urged caution while he reached for the stars. He vanquished our ghoulish thoughts with his clever words, together we fought the goblins and achieved more than we ever thought possible. When our wizard turned into a moody ogre we protected the unwary and reminded them to listen carefully and not ask the same question twice. Yes, working for a wizard can be an exciting challenge - I am grateful for the experience.
    • Oct 13 2009, 9:40 AM Gail
    • More ghosts and Gobblins -- I had an issue with a coordinator from a different department. Every time I would email her she would email all upper management with her negative response. One day, I had another issue and once again she emailed the world of upper management, I would just send her back a reply, as if the email was polite and positive. One day I received emails from all upper management, including her; stating why does she keep questioning my answers--"Gail knows her department and you don't need to check with us each time you ask her a question". I emailed all thanking them for their response and now she doesn't email the world any longer. I know it is hard not to be pulled into the negativity trap--but if you stay positive and hold true to yourself--it will be noted.
    • Oct 13 2009, 10:44 AM Lynn S. Frye CPS/CAP
    • Monday mornings are not the finest times in my life. They are truly the ghouls of the week. However, if I smile and tell myself (and anyone else who will listen) that we don't have to get up on Monday again this week, then the day seems to be brighter. If we reflect on anything and everything with a positive attitude, then things are better....this is a good way to trick yourself and receive a treat!
    • Oct 14 2009, 10:31 AM Jamie
    • In my new position I am finding out about new ghosts and goblins that I have to face on a daily basis. To help myself get past them, I have learned a few tricks: 1. Keep a picture of a past vacation next to your monitor and anytime you need a breather, just look at the picture, take a deep breathe, and try to think about how much fun vacation was. You need this job to afford another vacation!! 2. The old trick of walking around really works for me! I get away from my workspace, go walk for a few minutes, and then return to my desk refreshed. 3. Also... I have started drinking coffee... only on the really spooky days!
    • Oct 14 2009, 1:24 PM Shoshana
    • Years ago I was the lead word processor at an engineering/construction company. One day I was having a very very frazzeled day. One of my co-workers wanted to hyphenate a document. As we were going through the document, I happened to come across a proper name, and I told the gentleman that "You don't hyphenate a proper name." Well, he got all up in my face, stuck out his chest and said, "I have a Masters Degree." Like yeah? Is that supposed to impress me? (I didn't say it but thought it.") My supervisor happened to be there at the time and could see that I'd just about had it with this guy. So she asked me to go over and help someone else with something, which I did. Later, this gentleman wanted to know how things could be better since we needed to work together. So I told him, straight up, that though he might have a Master Degree, and I may not know some of the things that he knows but I wasn't stupid so don't treat me like I am. He thanked me as he'd never looked at it in that light. I had to say the same thing to my older brother years ago. Though a person has a degree, they don't know everything.
    • Oct 15 2009, 8:54 AM Rosaline Gibbons
    • My ghosts and goblins are the Office Managers and HR Director. I am the Executive Assistant to the President of the company and each time we get a new OM or HR Director, they have it in for me, within this 2009 year we have had 2 OM's and 2 HR Directors. Being that I've been at the company for 8 years, I try to help them out by letting them know what the my supervisor wants, how he wants it and when he wants it. After that they go off on me, by screaming, crying that I hurt their feelings and instead of my supervisor finding out what happened and what was said I was the one that get into trouble for it. This second time I tried to help them with the mail and other duties, they both started yelling at me that she was the OM and HR Director not me. I told them this is true, so I stopped trying to help them. Now they are getting screamed and yelled at by my supervisor as to listen when people try to help and that they have only been here 1 month. Now they have stopped speaking to me. Kill them with kindness, I keep speaking to them eventhough I get not a grunt from either.
    • Oct 15 2009, 9:43 AM Cathy
    • A few years back I had a goblin that worked in the same division as a supervisor; this person was not my direct supervisor but loved to belittle and intimidate people who were not at her level of management. During a team building exercise that our company had associates attend we were discussing a topic on individual/personal support systems and how they can be beneficial to your professional life. This woman began to attack verbally a comment I had made, singling me out of the room of people attending. I had to learn quickly how to stand up to “bullies in the work place,” that one doesn’t need to be rude but tactful. She is now a ghost of the past!
    • Oct 19 2009, 7:25 AM Crystie
    • My Not-so-friendly Casper was a co-worker whom had a hidden agenda working all the time. I really wanted to be in this field and had ask anything she was willing to teach me please tell me, instead she told the boss I was looking for another position. My plan of attack was honest and straight, what someone would call Nasty Nice, with confidence I called a meeting and hit the nail on the head without calling any name, I made it a point to say that I wanted to advance in this field not go to a different firm. It worked and now I am were I want to be and she is doing the same old same old!!
    • Oct 19 2009, 9:28 AM Chris
    • The goblin I work with is more like an office 'cancer' who constantly tried to get information out of me about upper management and what was going on behind their closed doors. Of course, he would not get that information out of me. One day he confronted me in front of a group of employees about a personal issue I did not really want to discuss, but he kept badgering me until I snapped. The result of this conversation was that he went to my boss complaining about how I insulted and embarrassed him in front of his co-workers, etc. This got me in a lot of trouble, when I was only defending myself. From that point on I am very professional in front of him (especially) and never discuss anything but business and don't allow him to badger me by keeping the conversation short and to the point of what he is needing in the office. This is sad to me because I felt that it has dampened our family corporate culture in our office.
    • Oct 19 2009, 1:35 PM June C.
    • In every office, there is a goblin. In my experience, the goblin is a lonely person with a very limited social life. Being direct is very important with the goblin, but I would caution all to be very careful about how you initiate such a conversation. Goblins are usually incredibly sensitive and paranoid, so the less you use the words "you are," "you did" and "you should have," the better off you are. In many instances, I have simply said that it's about my issue, not theirs. It lowers guards and allows a more productive conversation to take place.
    • Oct 21 2009, 7:32 AM Queen M.
    • I like the idea of going directly to the individual to discuss the situation and look for a rational solution. We may not be able to change who we work with, but we can establish a common ground that allows everyone an opportunity to work on building a professional relationship.
    • Oct 26 2009, 12:41 PM Jessie
    • I have been the recipient of goblins messiness in my past years of administration. I have found that when I had thought about my words, and confronted such beasts,their negative actions or emotions towards me STOP. Usually, a tactful, but calm confrontation puts them on check. It tells them that you are fully aware of the chaos they are causing. Once you confront them, then they know they cannot get away with it. They do not have to like you, but they should be making every effort to work with you.
    • Oct 26 2009, 3:36 PM Denise
    • I sometimes have to go upstairs and retrieve info for work I do or my boss and there is a co-worker that never seems to be happy. So I always speak to her(even though she ignores me, and around others)and someday maybe she'll see that I am not out to hurt her. I may even have to work under her. There are times she speaks or acknowleges me (not often)but I am always professional to her. she can be nice when she wants. Not all of us are mean people. I know that some of the inmates that discharge talk about how mean she can be and that is not right because we are in the cusomer service area to help these folks integrate back into society and if we act like jerks, that will reflect back on our state and programs.
    • Oct 27 2009, 9:32 PM Alice
    • My goblin is my office manager. She is not well informed when it comes to compliance and her computer skills are non existent. I feel a bit sorry for her and help her as much as possible even though I know that she tears me down every chance she gets in front of the boss. I love my job so I made the decision when this situation first started that I was going to ignore her bad behavior and just get along. My attitude helps me but she has not changed. I feel that it is just a matter of time until the boss figures her out in the mean time I feel good about myself for handling the situation like a professional.
    • Oct 29 2009, 11:48 AM Joan Burge
    • Thank you, everyone, for participating in our October Blogathon and for your great stories and ideas. Come back again. We're going to have a November blogathon as well. You can blog on any topic and we're giving something special away for Thanksgiving!
Leave A Comment



CAPTCHA image
Please enter the CAPTCHA phrase above.



  
Privacy Policy
Copyright 2005 | Office Dynamics 5575 South Durango Dr. Suite 106 Las Vegas, NV 89113

Built and Powered by WSI